Ma fin est mon commencement

every end once terrified me,

the closing of a door, the silence after goodbye,

the emptiness where laughter used to live,

it felt like death in slow motion,

a tearing of the fabric I thought was forever.

but now,

after ages I see,

every ending is a hidden seed.

the soil must close around it,

darkness must claim it,

before the fragile green of life can push through again.

i used to fight the darkness,

bargain with it,

beg for the light to stay just a little longer,

but now,

i know that the light is not lost,

it only moves,

and when it moves,

it asks me to move with it.

the truth is,

we are born again and again in the smallest ways,

with every heartbreak, with every relationship that drifts,

with every belief that crumbles under the weight of reality,

and though,

i ache at the endings,

i also bow to them.

because the end is not against me,

it is for me,

it clears, it strips, it empties,

so I can breathe into,

the new.

sometimes I stand at the threshold, trembling,

one foot still clinging to what has been,

the other daring to step into what is yet unseen,

that trembling,

that is fin et commencement,

the end and the beginning,

the trembling is holy.

and so,

i whisper to myself,

let endings be, let beginnings come,

let me grieve, let me hope,

let me be torn apart,

and,

let me be made whole again.

life is not a straight line,

it is a circle of vanishing and returning,

a rhythm of loss and renewal,

a prayer that never really ends.

and in that circle,

i find peace, i find solace,

i know now,

the end is not the end,

the beginning is not the beginning,

it is all the same breath,

inhaling and exhaling through me.

my end is my beginning,

ma fin est mon commencement.

I remember what Rilke said once, 'If you are asked to achieve an ending somehow, this also means that you are receiving an order to begin anew; a new beginning is always possible, who should refuse it?'

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© 2025 Beyond Silence. Written by 'the one listening.'

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